×

compartiendo.org

A shared universe › Blog › Grief: remembering someone who is gone · Español

Grief: remembering someone who is gone

Grieving someone who is gone: what it feels like, the dates that hurt, how to talk to a child about death and how to keep their memory alive.

Staying connected to someone who has goneGetting over grief was once thought to mean letting go. Today psychology speaks of continuing bonds. What it means and ways to keep close someone who has gone.4 min read Grief does not come in stagesDenial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance: the five stages of grief are famous, but real grief does not follow that order. What psychology says today.5 min read The dates that hurtThe first anniversary, their birthday, Christmas. Why the pain comes back strongly on certain dates, and ways of getting through them when someone is missing.4 min read How to talk to a child about deathWhat to say to a child when someone they love dies: with the truth, in simple words and according to their age. And which phrases are best avoided.5 min read Grieving a petThe death of a dog or a cat hurts like that of a family member, and often nobody understands. Why that grief is real and what helps you through it.4 min read The griefs nobody seesThe loss of a pregnancy, the death of an ex-partner, a friend, someone you could not name. What disenfranchised grief is and how to look after it.4 min read Feeling close to someone who has goneFeeling they are still there, hearing their voice, talking to them. Almost half the widowed people in one study had experienced it. What W. Dewi Rees found.4 min read Guilt in grief“I should have noticed”, “I wasn’t there”, “I said that to them”. Guilt is one of the most common emotions in grief. What is known and what helps.4 min read Saying goodbye ahead of timeWhen someone you love has an illness that will not be cured, grief begins before the death. What anticipatory grief is and how to live through it.4 min read What to do with their thingsTheir clothes, their glasses, their mug. There is no deadline for deciding what to do with the things of someone who has died. What is known about objects in grief.4 min read When there is no goodbyeSomeone missing, a person with Alzheimer’s who no longer recognises you, someone who left without explanation. What ambiguous loss is, according to Pauline Boss.4 min read Every star has a nameThe brightest stars have had names for thousands of years, and many are Arabic. Where they come from and what naming has to do with remembering.2 min read How the dead are remembered in SpainCemeteries, chestnuts, panellets, Cádiz’s Tosantos, the Canary Islands’ Finaos or Soria’s Night of Souls. How Spain remembers the people who are no longer here.6 min read Why we need rituals to say goodbyeA funeral, a candle, a habit only you know about. What Michael Norton and Francesca Gino found about rituals and grief, and how to create one of your own.6 min read How long does grief last?There is no deadline for missing someone. What studies have found about how long grief takes, what prolonged grief is and when it is worth seeing someone.6 min read Laughing in grief is allowed tooA story at the wake and, suddenly, a burst of laughter. Why laughing after losing someone is not a lack of love, according to the studies of Keltner and Bonanno.6 min read Everyone grieves in their own waySome people cry and need to talk, others fix, work or walk. The grieving styles described by Kenneth Doka and Terry Martin, without gender stereotypes.6 min read When your father or mother diesEven when it is expected and you have a life of your own, losing your mum or dad stirs everything up. What changes inside you, what changes in the family and what helps.5 min read When your partner diesLosing your husband, your wife or your partner changes the house, the days and the plans. What is known about widowhood and what can help you in the first months.6 min read Grief is felt in the body tooTiredness, sleepless nights, a weight on the chest, more colds. Why grief affects the body, what broken heart syndrome is and when it is worth seeing a doctor.6 min read When your brother or sister diesLosing a brother or sister hurts like few things, and often nobody asks about you. Why this grief is so particular and what helps, for adults and for children.5 min read A virtual candle, shaped like a starLight a star for free in a shared universe for what weighs on you, for a loved one or for someone who is gone. Others will keep you company. Anonymous, no sign-up and no cookies.2 min read A star for a loved one who is goneLight a star in memory of someone who has gone: on an anniversary, on their birthday or on a hard day. Others will see it and keep you company. Free and anonymous.1 min read A star for those you have lostOn 1 and 2 November, light a star for someone who is gone. Others will see it shine and keep it company with you. Free, anonymous and with no sign-up.2 min read Messages for a loved one in heavenMessages for someone who has died: short, birthday in heaven, anniversary and Christmas, for mum, dad, grandparents, a child or a partner. Where to write them.7 min read The anniversary of a death: how to get through the dayHow to get through the anniversary of a death, a parent’s or a partner’s: the day before, ideas to remember them, words for that day and a star for them.7 min read A letter to someone who has diedWrite a letter to someone who has died, with questions to help you start. It stays only on your device: nothing is sent and nobody reads it. Why writing helps.7 min read The first Christmas without them: the empty chairHow to get through the first Christmas after a death: deciding as a family, the empty chair, children, small rituals, and permission not to celebrate this year.6 min read Mother’s Day without herWhen Mother’s Day falls in the UK, Ireland, the US, Canada and Australia, and how to get through it after your mum has died: ideas, the first one, words.7 min read Father’s Day without himWhen Father’s Day falls in the UK, Ireland, the US, Canada and Australia, and how to spend it after your dad has died: ideas, the first one, words for him.7 min read All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day: two days for those we loveWhat All Saints’ Day (1 November) and All Souls’ Day (2 November) mark, how they are kept, their link with Halloween, and words to remember those you have lost.7 min read The Day of the Dead: welcoming home the ones we loveWhat Mexico’s Day of the Dead means, what goes on an ofrenda and why, how it differs from Halloween, and how to remember someone this way outside Mexico.6 min read Messages for a pet that has diedWords to say goodbye to a dog, a cat or any pet that has died, and messages for a friend who has lost one, with a search by animal and gentle goodbye ideas.7 min read

✦ Light your star