When someone you love has died, a few words written to them keep the bond alive: “Missing you always” or “Happy birthday in heaven, Mum” can say everything. Here are messages for every day and every date, and ideas for where to leave them.
Words for someone who is gone
Choose who you’re writing to and when, and change any word that doesn’t sound like you. Some mention heaven; others simply speak to them, wherever they are. If you have more to say, try a letter to someone who has died.
Missing you always.
Forever in my heart.
Still loving you, still missing you.
You’re with me every day.
Loving you from here to every star.
I can’t see you, but I feel you everywhere.
Thinking of you today, as always.
Until we meet again.
You live on in me.
Your light still reaches me.
Wish you were here.
Wherever you are, you are loved.
You’re not here, but you’re not gone either.
Love you, Mum. Always.
Mum, thank you. For everything.
Miss you, Dad.
Dad, you were my first hero.
Forever my little one.
Sleep peacefully, my brave one.
Love you, Gran and Grandad.
Rest well, Grandad. You earned it.
Always yours.
Missing you, my brother.
Missing you, my sister.
Cheers, old friend.
Happy birthday in heaven. I hope there’s cake up there.
Happy birthday, wherever you are.
Another year without you, and still I celebrate the day you were born.
Today the world got you. I’ll always be grateful for that.
I lit a candle for your birthday. It burned all day.
Happy birthday, Mum. I made your cake. It wasn’t as good as yours.
Happy birthday in heaven, Mum. Thank you for every year you gave me.
Happy birthday, Dad. I’m wearing your old jumper today.
Happy birthday, Dad. I can still hear you telling me to wrap up warm.
Happy birthday, my darling. You’d be a year older today, and I love you more each year.
Happy birthday to my sweet child. You are always part of our family.
Happy birthday, Gran. We still make your recipe every year.
Happy birthday, Grandad. We all raised a glass to you.
Happy birthday, my love. I still set out two cups.
Happy birthday to the love of my life, wherever you are.
Happy birthday, little brother. You’re still the funny one.
Happy birthday, sis. I’ve got your playlist on.
Happy birthday, mate. We told all your stories tonight.
Happy birthday to my best friend in the sky.
A year today. Not one day without thinking of you.
The years go by. The love doesn’t.
Another year since you left, and you’re still part of everything.
Time hasn’t made me miss you less. It has taught me to carry you.
Today is hard. I’m letting myself miss you.
Years without you, Mum, and every good thing in me came from you.
I still reach for the phone to call you, Mum.
Dad, it’s been a year. I’ve looked after everything, just as you taught me.
Another year, Dad. Your advice still gets me through.
My child, the calendar says years. My heart says yesterday.
On this day, I hold you closer than ever.
Years without your hand in mine. Loving you still.
I still keep our promises, my love.
Gran, a year today. The kitchen still smells of you on Sundays.
Another year, my brother. I tell the children about you.
A year since you left, old friend. We still save your seat.
Christmas isn’t the same without you. We lit a candle and kept your place.
Merry Christmas in heaven.
Your bauble went on the tree first this year.
We toasted you at midnight. Happy New Year, wherever you are.
Happy Mother’s Day in heaven, Mum. Your flowers are still growing.
Mum, we made Christmas dinner your way. Your chair was the emptiest one.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I miss your terrible jokes.
Dad, I carved the turkey this year. Not quite like you.
Your stocking still hangs with the others, little one.
Merry Christmas, Gran and Grandad. Your traditions live on in us.
Happy Valentine’s Day, my love. Still yours.
Happy anniversary, my love. Our day is still our day.
Merry Christmas, brother. We played your song.
Happy New Year, friend. One more year I’ll carry you with me.
Heard our song today and smiled.
Something funny happened, and you were the first person I wanted to tell.
I talk to you more than you’d think.
Some days are easier. Today I just miss you.
I hope you can see us. We’re doing all right, mostly.
Everything I do well, I learned from you.
If heaven has a window, I hope you’re looking out today.
Mum, I used your phrase today without thinking. You’d have laughed.
I wish I could tell you everything, Mum.
Dad, the garden is doing well. I think you’d be pleased.
I see your hands in mine, Dad.
Grandad, I finally understood what you meant.
Gran, I still hum your songs while I cook.
I’ll always be your parent. Nothing changes that.
I still say goodnight to you.
Your side of the bed is still your side.
I’m trying to live well, for both of us.
Saw something today that was so you, sis.
Nobody laughs at my jokes like you did.
The group chat is too quiet without you.
One of the good ones. Miss you, friend.
Where to write them
A card at the grave or tucked into the flowers. Nobody else needs to read it.
A candle lit at home on the day, with the message beside it. There’s also a virtual candle.
A post on their birthday or anniversary. Others who loved them often add their own memories, which can be a gift.
A notebook just for them, where you tell them what’s been happening.
In A shared universe you can turn your message into a star: tap “Light your star”, choose “What weighs on me” or “What I’m grateful for”, say that it shines for someone who is gone and write your words, without names (up to 280 characters). It shines for seven days, and people you’ll never meet keep it company with a few kind words. Some light one on every birthday.