A shared universe › Blog › When something weighs on you inside · Español
When something weighs on you, what usually helps most is getting it out: putting a name to it, telling someone or writing it down, and looking after the basics in the meantime. There are things we carry inside for days without telling anyone: a worry, a sorrow, a fear that keeps us awake. Letting them out does not solve them, but it often makes them easier to bear.
The first step is knowing exactly what it is that weighs on you. “I feel bad” is not the same as “I’m afraid of losing my job” or “I miss my mother”. When you put precise words to it, the discomfort stops being a fog and becomes something you can look at.
If you find it hard to tell what you are feeling, naming what you feel has ideas for doing it little by little.
Choosing a person who listens without judging and telling them what you are carrying usually brings relief. They do not need to give you solutions: often it is enough that someone knows what is happening to you.
When your mood is low, the NHS recommends talking about your feelings with a friend, a family member or a professional. If there is nobody close to talk to, or you would rather not say who you are, you can read about how to vent anonymously.
The psychologist James Pennebaker asked groups of people to write for about fifteen minutes, several days in a row, about what worried or hurt them most. Another group wrote about neutral topics.
In that 1986 study, with university students, those who wrote about their feelings went to the health centre less often in the following months, as described in a 2005 review by Karen Baikie and Kay Wilhelm. It has been repeated many times since: a 2006 meta-analysis of 146 studies found a positive but small effect, and not equally for everyone.
Nobody fully knows why it works. One likely explanation is that while something goes round in your head everything gets mixed up, and putting it into words means putting it in order: what happened, what you felt, what you fear. That order, little by little, helps you understand it and see it from a little more distance.
If you would like to try:
It is normal to feel a little worse straight afterwards: the same review explains that this dip is usually short-lived. Writing is a support, not a treatment, and it does not suit everyone.
When something weighs on you, your body feels it too. The NHS suggestions for low mood are simple and you can try them without waiting to feel better:
If you notice your mind keeps turning the same thing over, it may help to read about rumination.
If what you carry inside is stopping you from living, look for someone to talk to. If low mood lasts more than two weeks, if you are struggling to get on with your life or what you try is not helping, it is worth seeing your GP or a psychologist. In Spain you can talk to a person at the Teléfono de la Esperanza, 717 003 717, at any time. If you are thinking of ending your life, call 024: it is free, confidential and answered 24 hours a day. If there is immediate danger, call 112. In another country, call your local emergency number or a helpline there.
In A shared universe you can choose “What weighs on me” and write it in a few lines, without saying who you are. Others will see it shine and keep you company with a touch or with words of comfort.
When you come back, you will see how many times people have kept you company. And if one day you are feeling a little better, you can say so too.