A shared universe › Blog › The joy of what is yet to come · Español
A week before a trip, a wedding or seeing someone you haven’t seen for months, something changes inside. The days are easier to bear simply because there is something on the horizon. In Spanish this joy has a name of its own, “ilusión”, and psychology has measured it.
In 2007, the psychologists Leaf Van Boven and Laurence Ashworth published five experiments with a clear conclusion: we feel what is yet to come more intensely than what has already happened. Among other things, they tested it with a much-anticipated family festival in the United States, Thanksgiving, and with an imaginary all-expenses-paid skiing holiday. In every case, the emotion was stronger when thinking about what lay ahead than when recalling what had been lived.
The explanation they found is simple. When we think about the future we imagine it in more detail than when we go over the past: we see it, rehearse it, turn it over. That inner film is what sets the emotion alight.
It has a less pleasant side. The same happened with unpleasant things, such as annoying noises: bad things weigh more while they are on their way than when they are remembered. That is why hope and fear are so alike. Both live off the future.
In 2010, Jeroen Nawijn and his team asked 1,530 Dutch people about their happiness, 974 of whom had a trip ahead of them. Before leaving, those who were going to travel were happier than those who weren’t, quite possibly because of the anticipation. On their return, the difference had disappeared, except in those who had had a very relaxing holiday.
That doesn’t mean travelling isn’t worth it. It means that a good part of what a trip gives arrives before you pack the suitcase, in the days of looking at photos of the place and counting down the days that are left.
Other studies had already shown that money spent on living something tends to bring a more lasting happiness than money spent on having something. What was missing was a look at what happens beforehand. In 2014, Amit Kumar, Matthew Killingsworth and Thomas Gilovich compared two kinds of waiting: waiting for something you will experience, such as a concert, a meal with friends or an outing, and waiting for an object you have bought. In four studies, waiting for an experience turned out to be more pleasant and exciting than waiting for a thing. They saw it with questionnaires, with a large study that asked people at different moments of their day, and even by analysing news reports about people queuing up to buy things.
You don’t need to spend much to look forward to something. An afternoon with someone, a walk in the countryside, a film in good company or a visit from a grandchild can all be looked forward to too.
Long before, in 1987, the economist George Loewenstein proposed that waiting is also something we enjoy or suffer. He called the pleasure of imagining something good that will come “savouring”, and its opposite “dread”. With that idea he explained something that seems odd: that we sometimes prefer to put off something pleasant a little, so as to keep enjoying the wait, and to get something unpleasant over with as soon as possible.
Perhaps it sounds familiar: saving the last episode of a series for the weekend, or booking the dentist for tomorrow so as not to think about it any more. It is the first of the three times of savouring good moments: before, during and after.
There are times when nothing good can be seen ahead. In 1996, Andrew MacLeod and Angela Byrne asked a group of people to think about good and bad things that might happen to them in the future. Those who suffered from anxiety imagined more bad things than the others; those who had both anxiety and depression also imagined fewer good things.
If you have gone weeks without managing to imagine anything you would enjoy, talk to your doctor. It may be a sign that your mood is low, and that can be helped; it is not a failing of yours.
In the meantime, anticipation can be sown in small ways:
Looking forward isn’t demanding that everything turn out perfectly. Sometimes what you were waiting for disappoints a little when it arrives, and that’s all right: you have already had the joy of the wait, and nobody can take it from you.
Nor is looking forward the same as dreaming without moving. When what you are waiting for depends partly on you, it helps to think about the obstacles and the first step too, as described in wishing for something and setting out.
Looking forward to something can be shared too. If you are waiting for a birth, a reunion or a trip, write it on a star with “What I hope for”. Other people can share your joy while you count the days.